Article

Question: What does Inspiration say about Broken Families?

June 29, 2024

Here's a question that I received from one of my Youtube subscribers:

Question - ..."I was raised in the church and I have questions about what Ellen White says about the churches responsibility to the family? The second question I have is how do we as people in the last days apply what this messenger says to broken families today ? Last question is, how does a person whose family is broken find the answers not only in the spirit of prophecy but in God’s word?" - Jeremy

Response -  Depending on the severity of the issue, I am inclined to recommend that you seek a licensed counselor or a trustworthy, Bible-believing Pastor. However, I will do my best to answer your questions:


Although you asked about Ellen White, I believe it's best to answer from the Word of God first, then we will then look for a few quotations from the Messenger to the Adventist Church to add context.


Broken Families in the Bible

  • Adam and Eve.

Eve gave Adam the fruit and got them not only kicked out of their home but cursed the world. Then afterward, one son killed the other…and he got banished. Now, I don’t know about you, but if there’s one family that was broken…it was Adam and Eve’s. 1. What did God do? He promised them of a coming savior. Just as God gave them a promise, broken families should also look for promises in God’s Word, but don’t only read them…CLAIM THEM: Jeremiah 30:17, Psalm 51:12, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Malachi 4:6.


  • Jacob's family

Jacob lied to his father and feuded with his brother. However, he wrestled with Christ. Thus, although our family life may be in turmoil, it is our duty to wrestle with God in prayer. If you’re the only one who is willing to pray in your home, then you need to regularly find a quiet place to agonize with the Lord over your family problems.


  • Joseph's family

Joseph’s father played favorites with him which resulted in him getting sold into slavery. For years he spent in a bad place for something that wasn’t his fault; however, through adversity, he still remained faithful to God. While you are in the crucible, your prayer is to remain faithful to God. Continue studying his word, praying, fasting, and attending church if possible. Maintain that relationship with God at all times.


  • David's family

Of all the broken families, David’s family ranks at the top. The Bible reveals David took his soldier's wife and had him killed. As a result, their first son died. However, this was not the end of David's tumultuous road. David had another son named Amnon, who raped Tamar, his own sister. If things couldn't get any worse, David's other son, Absalom, tried to kill him but ended up losing his own life. I don’t know what type of brokenness you may be facing, but this brokenness is on another level. But after a while, what did David do? He realized how culpable he was in all of this. He recognized that his actions may have often been the cause of much of his pain. Thus we can see in Psalms 51:2-3 he told God, "Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." In essence, in our brokenness, we must ask God to show us if we are contributing to our state of being and seek God's forgiveness.


What does the Bible say about family brokenness?

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Luke 12:51-53


And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand. Matt 12:2


The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18


Casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7


Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.  Gal 6:2


What does Ellen White say about family brokenness?

The Church as a Watchman—The Lord would use the church school as an aid to the parents in educating and preparing their children for this time before us. Then let the church take hold of the schoolwork in earnest and make it what the Lord desires it to be. God has appointed the church as a watchman, to have a jealous care over the youth and children, and as a sentinel to see the approach of the enemy and give warning of danger. But the church does not realize the situation. She is sleeping on guard. In this time of peril fathers and mothers must arouse and work as for life, or many of the youth will be forever lost. CG 312


We are laborers together with God. We must have spiritual workers; not only workers who labor in the pulpit for the churches, but those who will do personal work among the people. Too much time is devoted to the churches in preaching. This is not attended with the best results. The work of the Lord's ambassadors is to organize a company of workers to hunt for the souls who need help; but hours are spent in preaching that had better be devoted to personal, house-to-house labor. In the spirit of Christ, with a heart all aglow with His love, seek to win those in the family. AUCR Feb 25, 1907


When a church is visited by wise and experienced workmen, let these men find out if there is not something for them to do for that church that will be a blessing to families. Converse with them in regard to their spiritual advancement. Show them that they are under obligation to work as those who have received the grace of God. The missionary spirit must be kept awake; and in order for this spirit to live, the members of the church must be laborers together with God. It is time that unselfish, consecrated workmen should enter into families who have already accepted the truth, and yet have not worked for its advancement. It is time that our preaching brethren should minister not only in the congregation, but in families. Come close to your brethren; seek for them, help them; come close to the hearts as one touched with the feelings of their infirmities. Thus we may achieve victories that our small faith has not grasped. The members of these families should be given some labor to perform for the good of souls. Mutual love and confidence will give them moral force to be laborers together with God. AUCR Feb 25, 1907


Those who labor for God have but just begun the work when they have given a discourse in the desk. After this comes the real labor, the visiting from house to house, conversing with members of families, praying with them, and coming close in sympathy to those whom we wish to benefit. It will not detract from the dignity of a minister of Christ to be awake to see and realize the temporal burdens and cares of the families he visits, and to be useful, seeking to relieve them where he can by engaging in physical labor. In this way he can have a power of influence to disarm opposition and break down prejudice, that he would fail to have if he were in every other respect fully efficient as a minister of Christ. 3T 558


“He preaches to the people, but makes no after effort to follow up the sermons given. He said he could not visit families, that he just despised that kind of labor.” You can imagine the condition of a flock unvisited by the shepherd. I have repeatedly had this matter presented before me, that the men who are ordained to preach the word should be educated to make full proof of their ministry in their personal labors in families, talking with the members of the family, understanding their spiritual condition, encouraging, reproving with all long-suffering and doctrine, praying with them, binding up his interest with their hearts and souls. This is the work of a faithful shepherd. PH002 17


Let all share the expense. Let the church see that those who ought to receive its benefits are attending the school. Poor families should be assisted. CG 313


Many cherish wrong-doing by speaking fretfully and impatiently. This course is not excused by the words, “Oh, it is only my way!” None should ever speak words that wound and bruise. We should bear one another’s burdens, thus fulfilling the law of God. Oh, how many we might save by showing them sympathy and tenderness, by helping them to bear their burdens! How many are lost because others, instead of manifesting toward them a spirit of love, indulge in a spirit of criticism, magnifying their mistakes! We are not to sanction the wrong course of a brother, but we are to try to save him from sin, instead of condemning him for being in sin. We all have infirmities, and we should be willing to make allowance for the infirmities of others. Ms 21, 1092


Question 2: How do we as people in the last days apply what this messenger says to broken families today?


Answer: I believe, the best way to apply it is to create an atmosphere in our churches and our homes of being a blessing to others. Sometimes, we as believers focus more on the standards of the church, and as a result, we focus on maintaining an attitude of holiness while neglecting some of the core principles of Christianity—love, gentleness, acceptance, friendliness, patience, and encouragement. Instead of believing these characteristics will just manifest themselves because it's church, we must be intentional about these things and facilitate an atmosphere where these characteristics can not just be seen, but also thrive.


One of the main purposes of the church is for the gathering of believers. In this gathering we learn, we share experiences, but we also can network. Thus, if the church is lacking, don't wait on the Pastor or Elders to begin a ministry or program, it is up to you to find like-minded people in the church or in other churches and network together to find methods to facilitate broken families. It may also be beneficial to incorporate a Christian counselor in your network as well.


Question 3: How does a person whose family is broken find the answers not only in the spirit of prophecy but in God’s word?

The way to find answers is first through fasting and prayer. We fast to keep our minds open to hear God's voice. However, please know that voice may not always come through His written Word. Sometimes that voice may come through a sermon, a Bible text, a video, a conversation, and even an audible voice; however, we have to be attentive to know that it is God who is speaking to us. You can also ask others as there is always someone out there who has gone through what you are going through.


In conclusion, we can see that there is a place for broken families in the Church. The Church is to minister to them and pray for them.  If you are reading this and you find yourself part of a broken family, just remember that God loves you and although you may feel like you've been abandoned, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5). My prayer is that God will mend our broken families back together. God bless!


share this

Related Articles

Related Articles

Did Ellen White instruct us to follow Uriah Smith's book?

Did Ellen White instruct us to follow Uriah Smith's Daniel and the Revelation?

By Tory St.Cyr • May 3, 2025
Ellen White endorsed Uriah Smith’s Daniel and the Revelation book. Does this mean that this book contains all the correct viewpoints? Let's address this elephant that seems to never leave the room. Uriah Smith's Daniel and the Revelation book is one of the most recommended books for Seventh-day Adventists. Smith's in-depth verse-by-verse coverage of Daniel and Revelation makes it an easy choice for those who truly want to understand Bible prophecy. As a matter of fact, Smith's book remains one of my favorite books on prophecy even though I disagree with a number of his views. His book is one of the reasons I became interested in prophecy, and a copy of this book will always be a part of my library. Unfortunately, there is a silent debate among Adventists regarding Uriah Smith's Daniel and the Revelation book. Should all his views be considered the official and only views of the Seventh-day Adventist Church? From his view of Turkey being the King of the North (also called the Eastern question), to the Daily being Paganism, to 666 representing Vicarius Filii Dei, Uriah Smith's views expressed in his book are popular among Adventists.* However, other views of prophecy have popped up among our church members, which have challenged many of the Daniel and Revelation author's views. This divergence of views has some Historicalists and even some Traditionalists believing that the Church is moving away from sound Adventist theology. Others have suggested that a break from the views expressed in Daniel and the Revelation is flat-out apostasy! Although I understand why many of our members hold Uriah Smith's writings near and dear, I also believe we as Seventh-day Adventists should try to be as balanced as possible regarding our approach to interpreting Bible prophecy—especially when clear and cut instructions are lacking from Inspiration. Make no mistake—Ellen White was very fond of Uriah Smith’s Daniel and the Revelation . Here’s one of her most glowing statements in support of Smith’s book: "The grand instruction contained in Daniel and Revelation has been eagerly perused by many in Australia. This book has been the means of bringing many precious souls to a knowledge of the truth. Everything that can be done should be done to circulate Thoughts on Daniel and the Revelation. I know of no other book that can take the place of this one. It is God’s helping hand." While it’s important to know what Ellen White said about Smith’s book, it’s equally important to recognize what Ellen White did not say. In other words, Daniel and the Revelation is an important book, but nowhere does she suggest that every viewpoint made in the book is correct. Those who view Smith’s Daniel and the Revelation book in this manner are inadvertently viewing his book as an extension of Ellen White’s inspiration. This was not the meaning behind Ellen White’s glowing remarks of his book, nor should Adventists push this narrative in order to propagate their preferred views of Bible prophecy. Those who place Smith’s book on an inspiration pedestal should see that Smith’s contemporaries did not see his book in this fashion. We know this to be true because when there was a controversy as to the meaning of the Daily, Ellen White made it clear what her position was: I now ask that my ministering brethren shall not make use of my writings in their arguments regarding this question [“the daily”]; for I have had no instruction on the point under discussion, and I see no need for the controversy. Regarding this matter under present conditions, silence is eloquence . Selected Messages Vol 1 p. 164 Although the subject of the Daily was covered by Uriah Smith, notice that the brethren did not refer to Smith's writings for the meaning of the Daily. We should also notice that Ellen White did not refer them to Smith’s book for its meaning either. This reveals to us that during the time of the pioneers, Smith’s book had not been placed upon the inspiration pedestal that it is today. As Seventh-day Adventists, we should do our best to take Ellen White at her word without embellishing or reading into the intent of those words. If she thought Uriah Smith's book was a means to bring souls to the truth, then accept her statement at face without conjecture. Daniel and the Revelation is a book that has led and continues to lead those to a knowledge of the truth. This reveals to us that truth is found in Smith's book but that doesn't mean everything in Smith's book is truth. Personally, I can attest to Ellen White's words. Reading Smith's book has given me a desire to study and has also led me to the truth. Glowingly as her remarks are, we still should see that Ellen White is simply recommending Uriah Smith's book. However, we should also understand that Ellen White also recommended other books besides Daniel and the Revelation. Here are a few of her recommendations: The Life of St. Paul by Conybeare and Howson, I regard as a book of great merit, and one of rare usefulness to the earnest student of the New Testament history . Signs of the Times, February 22, 1883 For those who can procure it, D'Aubigne's History of the Reformation will be both interesting and profitable. From this work we may gain some knowledge of what has been accomplished in the past in the great work of reform . Review and Herald, December 26, 1882 Although Ellen White's recommendations were not as forward as her recommendation of Smith's book, we should be able to understand that just because Ellen White expresses the importance of a book does not mean that she is placing her stamp of approval upon everything that's written in the book. Therefore, I believe we should see Smith’s Daniel and the Revelation for what it is—an amazing book on prophecy that is called God’s helping hand, that should continue to be circulated to bring many precious souls to the truth. *I have called them Uriah Smith's views although they may not have originated with him.

What does it mean to be dead to the law?

By Tory St.Cyr • February 19, 2025
In Romans 7:4, we have an interesting statement given by Paul. He says, “ Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ …” Because so many honest Christians believe Paul’s message to the early church was that the law was no longer binding, many who read this text believe that Paul was doubling down on the assertion that believers no longer need to keep the law. However, a closer analysis of this chapter reveals that Paul’s message was less about the law and more about an inner struggle that every believer who truly recognizes their sinfulness will have. However, in order to understand the full scope of Paul’s message, we must understand how Jewish law viewed the relationship between a husband and wife. The Woman Who is Bound to Her Husband Romans 7:1 - Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? Here, Paul reminds his readers that the law only has dominion over those who are living. It is important to see that the context of Paul’s thesis pivots around death and the law. Romans 7:2 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband . To support Paul’s opening statement, he now gives his readers an example that everyone could relate to—marriage. According to Jewish law, the husband was the only party in a marriage that could initiate divorce. Notice how this fact is brought out in a conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so . Matthew 19:7-8 Notice, that it was the men who were suffered to put away their wives, not the wives who were suffered to put away their husbands. This brings into context why Paul reminded his readers that a woman was bound by the law to her husband as long as he was living. She was bound because only the husband could initiate divorce while both parties were still living. The woman’s only hope to be released from her husband was if he died. Another man? Paul doubles down on his example, by reiterating that a woman who was married to another man while her husband was still living was called an adulteress. Romans 7:3 - So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man . However, I want you to notice that at the end of the text, it says “another man.” This phrase should reveal to you that there are two men in the picture. The first man was her first husband, and the second man was her new husband. While this may seem basic, many Evangelicals have been taught the lie that the first marriage was to the law. This is incorrect. The woman was not bound to the law through the law; the woman was bound to her FIRST HUSBAND through the law. Dead To The Law Romans 7:4 - Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God . Paul then makes a powerful and conclusive statement by telling his readers that they have also become dead to the law. However, is Paul telling us we can sin freely? What does Paul mean? The Law, Sin, and Death Paul understood that there’s a relation between the law, sin, and death. According to Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death…” Well, what is sin? According to 1John 3:4 – “Sin is the transgression of the law.” When we look at these components wholistically, we should see a clear system of truth.

Did Jesus preach in Hell?

By Tory St.Cyr • January 17, 2024
1Peter 3:18-19 says, " For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit: By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison ."
ALL ARTICLES